Shake Weight

I'm all about being healthy....




Well, it sure as hell worked my stomach muscles laughing...enjoy.


*On a follow video Ellen says, it worked muscles she's NEVER worked out before...muahahahah. I love her.

WTF Blanket

hahahahaha.
*deep breath*

hahahahah.

Oh Marge.

Pecan Nuts?

Seriously, it's making my stomach hurt from laughing....

Turkey sedation....

Hope you all are in a turkey sedation.

At least it's AYCE...meh.

I feel better today.

Thank you blog for letting me get that out...

Thank you to all of you that read and commented.

Thank you to all of you that read and didn't comment.

It's all good.

Really.

But next time, just comment, I will love you long time.

Promise.

Wanna make out?

OH alright.

Let's get to today's post shall we? *slips you the tongue*

I feel better today, I really do. Sure, I do miss my Mom a lot, but there isn't anything I can do about the distance between us right now. So I am going to pick up my chin and move on.

Arizona can suck it. Until I decided to come visit you on Spring Break, k?

So, kids will be with their fathers tomorrow from 10-5...I will be moping on the couch attending my first EVER Thanksgiving dinner with my step-dad's family at a BUFFET....A RESTAURANT! (restaurant is one word that I can NEVER spell correctly, thank you Spanish class).

*silence*

My gramma, the one who claims she was locked in my bathroom, ON PURPOSE, a few years back decided that she doesn't want to cook this year.

*crickets*

SOOOOO...she's wheeling her happy self to a local BUFFET RESTAURANT and wants us to all join her.

*ahem*


Oh yummy.

*meh*

See, what sucks is I can't say NO because I feel guilty about locking her in my bathroom I don't want them to THINK it's because of my mom and step-dad's divorce. Plus I already said, "sure, I think I can make it" through gritted teeth.

I love them, they are my family, but my grandparents, bless their hearts, (cause that softens the foulness coming next) are CRAZY.

*ugh*

The kids both come home at 5, at that time, I will have our own little REAL Thanksgiving dinner for us...I am excited about that. Bubba requested blueberry pie. My little sugar boy. Buggy requested stuffing. My little carbs girl.

Friday morning we will be making our (usually) annual trip to the St. Louis area to spend the weekend with my best friend Kimmy Sue and her family. :) I am excited about that too.

I hope you all have a great holiday.

Naked trees leave naked emotions.

I have a pit in my stomach.

I have some anger, building, surfacing no matter how much I push it down with my silver linings.

I can sugar coat just about every situation, look at the bright side and it's a good trait, but with Thanksgiving upon us, I am digging deep for that glitter to make this year OK.

I am a fixer, a pleaser, a series of crappy parent issues played out in failed adult relationships.

No matter how many rainbows I throw out to tell myself that "new traditions" are good and can be as good as old, I'm struggling today to pull myself out of the grand canyon of anger issues.

When my grandparents died eight years ago, my mom, understandably, died a little with them. I screamed, I threw myself on the floor crying for new traditions. Begging for her to pull herself up and carry on.

"We are still here, we are still alive." I pushed.

I forced her to cook a turkey, I forced her to put up a tree that year...and eventually she did, pull herself up.

Barely.

This year, my divorce, her divorce, her moving to Arizona...I am now screaming at myself to create NEW TRADITIONS. My kids are still here, my kids are still alive and dammit, so am I.

I miss her. I miss having someone to pull up so that I don't have to think about pulling myself up. I see now that I was pulling myself up, just to pull her up.

I feel the pain, fiercely in my heart.

After a death, a divorce is like a death of sorts, I'm left alone, feeling like what am I suppose to do now? To not have my mom to lean on, to "fix", I feel a little lost.

*I know, I have a million reasons to be happy, a million reason (or two three very important reasons) to pull myself up and I will, just needed to get this out. Back to shitting roses and pots of gold. I promise. Carry on.

Not ME monday...

Welp, another Monday is here.

At least this is a short week! Makes today seem a little more bearable.

These are the things that I did NOT do this weekend.

I did not spend HOURS playing with my new phone Friday night, while the kids did NOT watch Christmas movies.

I did not call said phone CUTE a million times.

I did NOT spend the rest of the night TEXTING...cause I don't do text.


I did not curse that CUTE MANAGEABLE yard this weekend while raking.

I did not consider having some trees removed from the yard.

I did not under ANY circumstance shake my butt, sing OR talk to myself while raking.

That's just crazy and I am NOT crazy.

I did not stand in line to see the new movie, New Moon. Ok, I did stand in line, but I surely did not squeal like the 12 year olds that were in front of us. Cause I'm an adult.

*ahem*

I did not gasp out loud at the sight of a 17 year old actor.

I do NOT believe that he is only 17, nor do I think that is even RIGHT for a "boy" to look that damn fine.

I did not just type that.

Yesterday when both kids were home from their dad's and other weekend visiting, it did NOT take me about 10 minutes of listening to their bickering to start day dreamin how quiet my weekends are when they are gone and start counting down the minutes till they will be with their dads again.

I did not immediately get mad at myself and then yell at them to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE STOP ARGUING. The mother of the year award is still in my reach...so I couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't have done all of that.


I hope you all had a great weekend and that nothing you did will come back to haunt you in 9 months.