I just watched Enchanted.
I want to be a princess, is that wrong?
We went to my nephew's birthday party yesterday, where my Mother in Law announced that she read my BLOG...*hi MIL, if you are reading today*. My first thought was HOW? and WHAT?
Well, if she is reading now, be forewarned, these are thoughts in my head. They may or may not make sense to all that read, but they are the lyrics to my own music. Often they are raw. So there you go.
Anyway, back to Enchanted, it is a really cute movie.
My own thoughts were drawn into my own marriage. There are things that I wish were different, but there are good things too. Hubby's brother picks on him, a lot, saying that Hubs is "whipped" or "tagged with ball and chain". Honestly as imperfect as my hubby is, compared to his brother, Hubs is a Prince.
In bullet form here is what my hubs does that IS good:
-Helps with household chores
-Cooks dinners on nights that he is working his normal shift
-Plays with kids on occasion
-"lets" me have my night out with friends
-he does love me
Things that I wish were different with him:
-gossiping ways (*eye roll* he can be such a girl sometimes)
more patient (but we all could use more patience)
-didn't have to sleep so much (but I couldn't work all the shift work that he does without additional sleep)
-he wouldn't have such an issue with alcoholism (as much as he is in denial, he is an alcoholic)
For the most part, Hubs, is a helpful part in this family. He could be better, but compared to said brother, I think my hubs is pretty damn good.
To be treated like a princess I SHOULD treat hubs like a Prince because he could be worse, but issues with his drinking does make me less Cinderalla-ish. I would love for hubby to not drink so much that I have to drive him home in order to save our pocketbooks from DUI drainage. I wish that the bottle didn't mean so much to him. I wish that his nice call to see if I need anything from his way home wasn't selfishly inspired by his need to stop and get himself beer.
To sum it up, I guess my biggest problem with him IS his drinking. As much as I am told that it is a disease, it doesn't make me any more forgiving of it. With any disease though, it doesn't make sense to me and I just don't understand WHY.
I don't know if I have a point.
I am thankful that Hubs is pretty good, can he use improvement? yes. We all can stand to improve ourselves. I found myself defensive in his name when hearing about the comments from his brother and I wanted to grab a sword and fight for him. Even though there are things that could be better, I could be married to someone worse. Sure it isn't the BEST way to look at a marriage...but these are MY ramblings and right now that statement makes sense.
Wow. Does your husband think he drinks too much? I know you said he doesn't think he's an alcoholic, but does he even think there is ANY problem with what he does? I don't know if I would have the strength to deal with something like that, so kudos to you! I think all of us deserve to be treated as princesses, and deep down all guys probably wish they knew how to do so! All I can suggest is that you treat YOURSELF like a princess, just in case others don't/won't. Look after yourself, give yourself a break sometimes, get plenty of "me time" and perhaps a little pampering every so often. Tell yourself you are worth it, because you are!
ReplyDeleteI loved loved loved Enchanted and I am going to be a princess when I grow up.
ReplyDeleteI'm only 23. Not quite grown up, I think I can achieve this goal but the time I'm officially grown up.
Your hubs sounds like a really nice guy...has he ever had any counseling for his drinking? It must be hard for you to understand WHY he drinks...does he understand?
ReplyDeleteKimmy
Oh Stacie, it sounds like he is a great guy, alchoholism is a disease but I am sure it doesn't make it easier to call it one. I would be horribly unforgiving, I think you handle things very well, give yourself some credit girl. I hope both you and he can work it out because you are both worth it.
ReplyDeleteHUGS!
Stacie, there are things about all of us that we'd like to change, and about our spouses as well, you're not alone. Alcoholism is an ugly, horrible disease, I speak from experience. My husband's best friend, and the best man at our wedding, died two years ago at the age of 44 largely due to his drinking. He left behind a 10 year old son. His wife had divorced him two years before that because she no longer could live with him and the havoke that he created in their home. There is no such thing as "sort of" being an alcoholic, or "kind of" having a drinking problem, it's like "kind of" being pregnant, you know? I know you've dealt with this before with your brother (addiction issues) and I'm so sorry that you are facing them again. Being an alcoholic doesn't make you a bad person, or husband or father. It makes you a sick person with a disease. I hope you, or his mom or brother will convince him to get the help he needs. Knowing that you do love him, warts and all, is a blessing he and his family should be thankful for. BTW, perhaps you need to do something like one of our blogging friends did recently, if you get my drift? Take it easy, Stac, and hope you feel better. Lizzy
ReplyDeleteGood for you for recognizing the problem. Dealing with alcoholism isnt an easy thing - have YOU considered getting into a support group? If hubby won't, it just might help you cope with all the issues.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. And keep blogging...even if your MIL is reading!! :-)
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
First off, I saw Enchanted and I absolutely LOVED it. It was SOO cute. I am a princess in my own mind. I wear a big poofy fluffy dress and I wear a tiara.
ReplyDeleteBut anyways....I imagine there is something that we all want to change about our significant other. I do agree that a support group would be a godo idea. If your husband won't go then you should. It can't do anything but help.
I want to see Enchanted, haven't yet. Which is surprising, since I AM a princess and all :)
ReplyDeleteHopefully someday your Hubby will come around and see where he can make some changes. I would suggest concentrating on you and finding a support group for you. Best of luck and keep bloggin!
Secret MIL reader, that would scare me :-)
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen Enchanted, but it looks really sweet. I would love to be a princess, every once in a while. But I think that the constant fawning and bowing would aggravate me. Also, the lack of privacy and inability to wear dirty jeans with unwashed hair...
ReplyDeleteMy husband comes from a long line of drinkers (two of four brothers and his dad) and I am always thankful that he himself doesn't drink - it can be so difficult to live with. Your husband sounds like a good guy and I hope it works out for him - he has to want to quit drinking, doesn't he? I haven't seen the movie - but I want to. Take care. Kellan
ReplyDeleteYour hubby sounds suspiciously like my Hubby. Though mine always makes dinner. :) (mainly because he doesn't want to eat what I can cook, but whatever). So you'd think I had some advice, but I don't. Just be good to yourself and remember that you can't fix him, no matter how much you love him.
ReplyDeleteStacie,
ReplyDeleteHi. I came by to see if you'd posted anything new, and since you hadn't I was reading your comments from yesterday, and re-read mine. I feel badly about some of the things that I said yesterday, in retrospect, and would like to explain a few things. First of all, I didn't mean to insinuate that your husband was going to die, that must have just sounded horrible to you, and I'm so sorry. My husband's friend, Fred, had many issues besides the alcoholism, he was a diabetic, so you can imagine the effects of alcohol on someone with a disease that effects your blood sugar. His diabetes also caused narrowing of his blood vessels and caused heart damage, quite rare for a man his age. I'm sure your husband is no where near the stage or level of alcoholism that Fred was. I'm also sure that he doesn't have the health issues that Fred had. The point I was trying (not very well) to make was, whether you drink five drinks or twenty, if you need them to get through the day, you have a problem. Do you know what I mean? I apologize if my comments added to your pain, that surely was not what I intended and I'm so sorry. I hope everything is alright, and I agree with the other comments, you need to make sure you're okay and take good care of yourself. Hope you post again soon, I'm worried about ya!
Ok, so now that you have family reading, is it kinda a bug off this is mine feeling? Yeah me too. I don't mind them reading, but UG, this is mine get your own blog. With that said...
ReplyDeleteI hope everything works out ok for you and your Hubby. I think your ramblings made complete sense. Sounds like you are working things out amongst yourself and your family. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong- chin up- you have identified the problem and that it a huge step!
Stacie--I have met your husband, and yes he is a wonderful man. I hope that someday in the future he will see that he does have a problem with alcohol and slow down, or stop completely. Until then, we are all here for you. A Lucky Charm
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