Friday, January 23, 2009

*hmph*

I just don't feel right today.

It's not my normal, not feeling right.

Bullet points of what it could be:

-I feel lonely.
-I feel like I might be getting sick.
-I feel deprived in the sexual sense.
-I feel deprived in the loved sense.
-I feel like the positive thoughts aren't helping my mood.
-Private Practice made me cry my eyes out last night.
-Private Practice made me think about being "alone" when I die.
-I know I have my kids and they are my world, but what if I am "alone" intimately.
-I also watched Sober House, Steve Adler was all doped up on heroin.
-Seeing him high made me literally sick to my stomach.
-I felt compassion for HIM, a T.V. personality, yet struggle with compassion for the addicts in my life.
-My lack of compassion for the addicts in my life made me feel guilty.
-I have a hard time feeling compassion for those that have the ability to destroy my heart.
-Meh.
-It's getting close to year end at work, I don't want to do year end.
-I haven't heard from my lawyer in almost two months.
-I plan on calling her Monday, but my stomach is in knots about it NOW. *edit, I just called and they aren't in the office. So I guess this will HAVE to wait until Monday.

yeah, I guess it could be one of those things making me feel off. I am going to go with the "I feel like I am getting sick" cause the rest is a little too heavy to consume myself with on this Friday.

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13 Sharing the Madness:

  1. OMG, Private Practise made me cry my eyes out last night too. Grey's Anatamy totally started it though.

    I'm sending warm fluffy (healthy) thoughts your way.

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  2. you need:
    -wine
    -chocolate
    -ice cream

    not in that order but could be together? :)

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  3. I must agree, you need

    WINE, CHOCOLATE , ICE CREAM & a HUGE HUG

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay. What is with Private Practice? I am still catching up and the last episode I watched was the one where the single dad and two kids had CF. At the end when he had to choose, I was bawling :( I mean, my face all screwy, red and completely wet bawling.

    Can't wait to see this one.

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  5. I haven't watched PP this week (Yes I watch it... SHUT UP!)

    But yeah when your heart is aching it can definately leave the rest of you feeling like poop.

    Definitely lighting a candle for you hon... If you want to chat you know where to find me...

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  6. WINE, CHOCOLATE , ICE CREAM & a HUGE HUG ANNNNNND a holiday :)

    Thats what i think you need.. and a nice sexy waiter... with a hugggge... cocktail :o)

    I hope you feel betetr soon xxx

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  7. Oh hun, feeling for you and hope there's a bit of brightness on the horizon for you soon.

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  8. Blues on a Friday are just not right! I hope that your weekend helps perk you up. If it helps, I completely sympathize with all of your bullets. One day at a time, right?

    Maybe what you need is another "girls night" where you let your hair down? That would be fun!

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  9. I think it's winter...in the fullest sense of the word. I am having major drama problems with my three adult daughters who all live and home. I am ready to run away from home, and I am thinking one more night of this crap and I. AM. GONE!!!!!

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  10. Aw, bad day huh? Sorry you were feeling in turmoil, it could be hormonal. I know when I would feel like that it was Hell but then when my hormones would balance out, suddenly everything seemed more manageable.

    You do have some big things are you dealing with so it's normal to feel overwhelmed and melancholy. Hang in there Stacie, I have faith in you. You will work this all out and come out the other side stronger and more vibrant that before.

    GO STACIE!!!

    And watch The Office or something funny and light instead! Get your laugh on :) and also, the chocolate, wine and ice cream too, but in moderation of course.

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  11. Okay...so maybe your getting a cold. Yuck! And it's okay to question the fear of being alone. I worry about that every day. But Stacie...you are a great person and good things are going to come your way.

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  12. Am catching up reading.
    Couple things.....
    I can totally relate to about 75% of your bulleted points. Sometimes it helps to know others feel the same way...sometimes not. Being alone with others I guess you could say.
    I also was sickened by watching Sober House last Thursday. Truely it depressed me for most of the day on Friday. Sad and sick way to live. I think anyone who has been directly affected by an addict probably felt the real impact of his actions. Just puts your emotions in a bad place.

    ReplyDelete

C'mon, pull up a therapy couch and tell me all about it...