Our house is for sale. Has been for sale for
ONE showing was during his open house.
Seriously people, ONE person came through for the open house.
I blame his lack of
For weeks now the house has sat on the market.
I have cleaned and cleaned and busted my ass every night and morning to make sure the house was in tip top shape. That is until recently. Cause it's tiring, y'all. Doing this whole single mom thing is really tiring.
There's lawn to be mowed, there's laundry to be done, there are practices and games and yeah, we're busy. So the house has been PRESENTABLE, but not SHOWABLE in my opinion.
This morning, we were up a little earlier than normal due to Bubba having an accident in his bed (when will I ever learn to make that boy potty before bedtime?) so I was up, stripped his bed, pulled laundry from the dryer, loaded the dishwasher, got ready for work, and out the door we flew for school.
The laundry is still on my bed, Buggy NEVER made her bed this morning. The vacuum is sitting by the stairs still plugged in from the 5 minutes I had it out to clean up the garbage that the dumbass dog spew across the house this weekend.
The house is NOT showable. Yet today, I got a call. There is a showing tonight AND TWO tomorrow.
It's Karma. It's Karma the F*cking Bitch.
There is enough dog hair on my floor right now to create a new dog (hopefully improved non shitting dog). It's not a day to show my house, but how can I refuse?
I can't. Therefore, I now have a lunch date, with my house.
Karma, if you are listening, please let this be a good karma and a house selling one. If it's not, you and I are going to tango.
Oh man, that bitch. I hope the showing is the one, you know, the ones who will buy it so you can stop with the madness already.
ReplyDeleteI don't envy you girl, what a hassle.
Damn Karma! Screw her...unless it's good Karma of course. Enjoy your date.
ReplyDeleteI sooo don't envy you.... I hope you sell your house after all that.
ReplyDeleteBut I had to laugh... spewed my coffee even... about the dog comment! I can soooo relate to the hair dripping... shitting in the floor dog... I have one too. My dog drips hair with every step... and not just one or two... huge clumps of long white hair. You would think she would be bald my now... but nope... she's still dripping.
And shitting... yep... that too... I stepped in a huge pile the other morning... right in front of my bathroom door... as I stumbled to the bathroom barely able to open my eyes to see the doorway... then wham!... right in a big stinking pile my foot goes... grrrr... I made the dog sleep outside that night!
Good Luck To you!
~A Lil Enchanted~
Oh I swear this always frickin' happens to me. Usually it is when anyone comes over unexpected or like when I went into labor or my kidney stones the house was a BOMB! I swear my mom has never seen it cleaned.
ReplyDeleteI'll rub my buddha for you when I get home. I'm pretty sure Karma was his bitch... or something like that.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Stac!
SMOOCH!!!!
Oh, Karma, you evil little whore. I'm so sorry. But here's hoping for good news after these showings!
ReplyDeleteOMG...you had me laughing my ass off. I can SO relate to the chaos that are kids and dogs. My dog, who's name is Paxil (appropriate given his neurotic nature) loves to drag garbage through the house too. If I don't close all the doors, he will methodically tip over EVERY garbage can in the house. Love your blog..you are hilarious. Good luck with the house selling.
ReplyDeleteWhy does it always work out that way?? Good luck--don't mean to laugh at your karmic experience but I did ;)
ReplyDeleteI hate keeping the house clean for showings. Once when my parents were selling theirs ( I was living with them & my two kids) I was doing the deep clean thing...... stuff was everywhere! And wouldn't you know..... got a call right was I was just starting to put things away....... they were sitting in the driveway
ReplyDelete!
You should have seen how fast I moved that day.....lol
Good luck with your showings!
I think you might be selling my house. I have two baskets of laundry on my bed right now, at night when it is time to go to sleep I just move them to the floor and then in the morning put them back on the bed so I can get into the closet. I keep making mental notes to vacuum the large colony of dust bunnies from underneath my dining room table but found if I put a table cloth on, a long one, no one can see them. I have taken to vacuuming the dog lately to save time. And I'm not moving so I have no reason to clean except of course for the sake of living in a clean house but I am convinced that the swine flu out break passed over our house because we are acclimated to germs.
ReplyDeleteWe moved here three years ago next month and it was a bitch. Doing it while doing the single mom thing is very stressful. I hope you are buying box wine. Good luck and if I had any good Karma I'd throw some your way.
Go buy a St Joseph statue, plant him upside down facing your house in your backyard. It won't clean the house, but it might help sell it
ReplyDeleteOk I totally can relate to the dog hair... we have a large choc lab and starting a week ago til about Oct he sheds like nobodys business... and my little Puggle is the shitter... she pees outside great and poops in the morning outside but we never know what the afternoon or evening will bring.. surprise surprise... Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteUgh. Can't win in this one, pally. If you kept the place spotless, nobody would come--you just know it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there--maybe summer will be better when you aren't running as much with the kids. Or are you??
ACK! I'm xing fingers that these are the people that want the house or people that understand that you are still LIVING in the house.
ReplyDeletehere's to hoping that the showings lead to seriously interested buyers
ReplyDeleteOh good luck! Fingers crossed that this is the last time you have to clean until you pack!
ReplyDeleteOh yes...Karma is listening...but I don't think it gives a flying rats you know what...here's hoping that everything goes well....at least it wasn't a "we'll be there in 10 minutes call"...those are worst...
ReplyDeleteOh yeah - I know exactly how you're feeling. Having a house on the market and doing the single mom thing is exhausting!!
ReplyDeleteHopefully one of these showings will produce a contract!! Fingers crossed for you!!
Funny how that shit works out! Hoping you get good news regarding the showings today!
ReplyDeleteI want to put my house on the market, but don't know how on Earth I would ever make it presentable - I can't even get on top of it now!!!
I feel for you. We ended up having to rent because we could afford 2 mortgage payments. Now that the rates are low, we're hoping to talk to the renters into buying. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGood luck. Maybe this will be "the one" and it will be totally worth the stress.
ReplyDeleteAnd my word verification was meness. I had to look at it several times to be sure. Weird.
sounds like karma owes you one...don't worry it owes me one too.
ReplyDeleteOMG...I hope it sells and you are in the house of your dreams. You deserve it. I hear ya with the games & practices, cleaning, etc.,but we are not selling our house on top of it all...you are superwoman!
ReplyDeleteKarma will get you everytime. I hope everything works out for you.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was TOTALLY in your position when she was trying to sell her house.
ReplyDeleteA friend of hers used to do exactly as you and her- clean up before bed and rush around in the mornings to make the house presentable. The ONE DAY she didn't, she had a showing. And the people bought the house!
Hoping you get lucky! :)