Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Totally Ticks Me Off Tuesday


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Ya know what ticks me off?

I'm gonna tell you.

Fire safe cigarettes.

They suck and by suck I mean I have to suck harder to get my fix.

*hush to the peanut gallery.

I understand NOW the addiction I have to nicotine, now that I am having to suck harder to GET my nicotine from the damn cancer stick.

I don't like to suck. Sure as hell don't like sucking harder.

All because why?

Because some hilljacks smoke in bed and set their house on fire. Whatever.

I don't smoke in bed. Well, thankfully, NOW I CAN cause the damn thing goes out like every second that I'm not sucking on it.

*Suddenly we are all back in the gutter *swoosh-swoosh*

I guess I can go to California now and throw my cigarette out the window (what? I don't do that. That would be littering. Shut up Kim. It wasn't me.) and not fear setting the whole damn state on fire.

That's a good thing, I suppose. Ya know, if I ever go to California again.

I've smoked for many years and have quit a few times in and around there, I've NEVER once (ok, maybe once, but that is not the point and totally unrelated) had a fire start because of a burning cigarette. If I ever left a cig in the ashtray it would go out on it's own once it got to the filter. SO I don't get it.

SUCK IT Pictures, Images and Photos

It totally ticks me off (tuesday).

OK, so reading blogs yesterday I came accross this video (here)...that fits RIGHT INTO my subject matter here today....

and it's funny

and gutterlicious, you MUST watch.


Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

Yeah. WHERE'S HIS fire safety cigarette?

Photobucket

More Madness from Stacie's Madness at 9:00 AM
Labels: ,

27 Sharing the Madness:

  1. I totally agree with you on the fire safe smokes.

    I don't agree with your other
    sucking ranting going on here.

    We shall leave it at that.

    XOXO
    Ass Sweat
    ReplyDelete
  2. so. what you're saying Ass Sweat is you LIKE TO SUCK, just not that hard on a cig?

    nice to know.

    GmcN ;)
    ReplyDelete
  3. OH MY GOD what the heck is a fire safe cigarette? That does not sound fun at all! Come to Canada, we still have old fashioned suck as you wish cigarettes here! :)
    ReplyDelete
  4. I had no clue that they did that to them? Seriously? Oh and my mind was totally in the gutter this entire post!
    ReplyDelete
  5. What the hell is a fire safe cigarette. I pay too much damn money for my cigs to work so freaking hard for the nicotien. Are they a fancy brand you have to buy? I'm considering downgrading to the super cheap homeless dude cigs soon. I can't afford it. I should quit again. I know. I KNOW! I'm just not ready yet.
    ReplyDelete
  6. Do you know that's like a laundry soap that prevents the fire? I smoke Camel Crush... no fire safety there...lol.
    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't even know how to respond. (Sigh)
    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok, my comment didn't post or I'm doing something wrong...


    I've never heard of the fire-safe cig but it probably explains why I'm having the same trouble!

    Dammit!
    ReplyDelete
  9. I imagine a fire-safe cig is hard to light too. Maybe you could lug around a bunsen burner and a gas canister.
    ReplyDelete
  10. Mo, it lights, you just have to keep suckin to keep the fire burning.

    and THAT'S WHAT HE SAID....
    last night
    whatever.
    ReplyDelete
  11. Sucking doesn't have to be a chore...sucking should be pleasurable...sucking should celebrate the commencing of the love a man and woman share or the lusty shame that a drunken frat boy and a crack whore share...
    ReplyDelete
  12. I thought you were kidding about the cigs. And that video is fucking funny!

    And my headache might be cancer? Shit!

    My stomach is in knots! I just posted it on my TTMOT post. Cuz life was all peaches when I did my random post.
    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't smoke so I have to say that I have never heard of such a thing! Random! Don't really get the point.
    ReplyDelete
  14. I smoke, but have never heard of them. They sound absurd. As for the sucking, ahem. I'll keep my opinions to myself.

    LMAO @ Mo!!!
    ReplyDelete
  15. Boob Sweat,
    just saying you'll keep your opinions about sucking to yourself TELLS us what your opinion is you knob sucker you. ;)
    ReplyDelete
  16. So what? He buys me stuff. ;)
    ReplyDelete
  18. Love the video. Pretty funny. Love the dildo pic. LOL. MAde me laugh.
    ReplyDelete
  19. I've never even heard of a fire safe cigarette. So, are the regular fire danger cigarettes on the black market now?
    ReplyDelete
  20. That video is hysterical!!! Oh, sorry about your stupid cigarettes--maybe you should just quit, eh??
    ReplyDelete
  21. You should have made a video. Maybe the Sweat Squad can make one...
    ReplyDelete
  22. There's a certain oxymoronic quality to the term "fire-safe cigarette."

    I voted for you again. Good luck.
    ReplyDelete
  23. hilljacks

    no more sucky sucky for you
    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks for stopping by! Alcoholism is a bi#$%, isn't it?
    ReplyDelete
  25. Thanks for the laugh. Hilarious!

    As for smoking, my husband has been trying to quit for seven years. SEVEN years. It's been a long, slow road and many times it's sucked (I wanted to use the word for you!).

    You crack me up!
    ReplyDelete
  26. Wow, another redesigned blog. It's starting to freak me out. Two months without blogging. I come back, and everyone's blogs look different.

    I don't know what a hilljack is--I'll have to look that one up later on Google--but my sister did set the bed on fire once with a cigarette. She dropped an ash while smoking in bed, went into the living room a few minutes later to watch a movie, unaware that she had done so, and fell asleep. Some time later the family pekingese started barking uncontrollably, trying to wake my mom up. My mom thought she just had to pee so she kept telling her to shut up and go back to sleep, but Prissy wouldn't stop. Finally, my mom got up, saw the smoke, and put out the burning mattress.

    The dumbass didn't learn her lesson. She still smokes in bed. She might could use some of those fireproof ones you're talking about. I still don't get how they work. I mean you still light them up, right? So technically they're still on fire. What person thought those up?

    Anyway, I totally love the idea of Totally Ticks Me Off Tuesdays. That's one meme or whatever it's called that I might actually participate in.
    ReplyDelete
  27. that news report is hilarious!!! you know those old guys had a blast looking through all of those photos and videos!
    ReplyDelete

C'mon, pull up a therapy couch and tell me all about it...

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