I'm lost.
I never struggled in school, until I hit college. The only reason I struggled there was because I usually was TOO hungover to get out of bed let alone to class.
In grade school through high school, I never really had to try that hard to get good grades.
Buggy? She hasn't had to struggle either UNTIL THIS YEAR. THIS year, 3rd grade, there are two-three test PER week. PER WEEK, PEOPLE. Reading test, health test, science tests, spelling tests, it's a test fest.
I am not sure it's a lack of brain power as much as it's a lack of responsibility problem.
"Oh, I forgot my spelling words" or "I studied for that at daycare" or "Yeah, Mom, I understand *dazed look*"
Or it's a studying problem...
She got her first C on her report card. My straight A student got a C (well and a B in Math and Science too). My heart sank. What is going on?
This year the schools have gotten with the times. We have an access code that allows us to go online and see how the kids are doing. It shows each assignment, each in class activity and the tests and what their grade is for each.
Since signing up, I've seen an F *faints* on a test and now as of yesterday a D *dies* on another test. Sadly, each test that she has done poorly on has been the next day after she has been with her dad. I hate that. I do not want to be that person that says, "only I can do it right". Or point fingers not claiming the responsibility...BUT....
Maybe Ex#1 doesn't know how to help her study. Maybe Ex#1 isn't pushing her enough to study. Something isn't connecting. When a child is getting As on homework, As on class work and then fails a test...there's something wrong.
I am not sure how to handle this. I hate that I have to handle this. Makes me get angry about the way life has turned out.
Sitting in pity, though will NOT make this better/different.
Tonight all of her papers should come home from these test. I will look them over, discuss them with Buggy and then contact both Ex#1 and her teacher to get a plan together on what WE can do as parents to get this back on track.
Dammit.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Are you smarter than a 3rd grader?
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23 Sharing the Madness:
Is she telling Ex#1 she has a test. I used to slink out of class work by not telling adopted dad since he was and still is oblivious.
I went through this same thing with my second kid. "I studied!" and then a C. It's maddening, especially when you know they are capable. You wonder how much is a side-effect of a two-home situation.
Ugh. I'm not looking forward to this. I was horrible at test taking (i blame it on my dyslexia, but i suppose studying could have helped ;). My kids' school is pretty hard too. I can't believe the stuff my 1st grader is doing. The math my neice (who goes to the same school as my boys) brings home in 6th grade is already confusing me. Egad!
Good luck!
It might be the stress of the test. Is she completing the questions? If it's a timed thing you wont get marks for unanswered questions?
Testing can be a stumper for some kids, they get ansty and just don't DO the test.
Ugh. This could be a whole lot of different things. She could be staying up too late, not studying the night before, not telling him about it, he might not be forcing the issue because he wants to be a good guy, etc. I'm sure you've thought of all of them. Plus she's had a lot of changes this year and that could be causing her additional stress.
The good thing is that you are a great mom, you have a plan, you are being proactive, and you are trying to keep an open mind by not placing all the blame on one place. You've got this covered. Try not to worry and just follow through on what you know needs to be done.
Oh Stacie, that must be so hard to deal with! I'm so proud of you for being strong and making a plan. I am one of those people that prefers to stick their head in the sand. I hope all parties are responsive!
3rd grade shouldn't be this stressfull..then they will hate the rest of their school years. Homework should be minimal at best.
good luck
when you see her tests, you'll have a better idea what's going on.
i am a homework hater. i hate it when teachers have my kid for 6 to 8 hours per day and then send them home with another 2 hours of homework. i have gone toe to toe with several of them because that is MY time with MY kids. when they get home from school at 4 and have to go to bed at 9, subtract time for bathing, dinner, chores...not much left.
whew! sorry...i just get going sometimes and i can't stop myself.
good luck...
It does make you wonder if she's not telling Ex#1 that she has a test she needs to study for.
I'm annoyed by the homework Princess Nagger brings home (she's in first grade) because I have to make sure she does it since she says she hates homework. Not looking forward to how much more there will be as she advances through the grades.
Once you get a look at the tests you can get to the bottom of it...good luck! ((HUGZ!))
I'm hoping it's just a temporary situation. Maybe it's just a reaction to the move and all. Hoping for a rebound!
Ugh. that is not going to be an easy conversation to have. :( That is a rock and a hard spot if I ever saw one.
ps... i replied to your comment on my blog http://bigmamacass.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/the-c-word
This is why my kids don't spend the night with their dad anymore during the school week. But, third grade is tough! From 30 minutes of homework to 1.5 hours every single night!! I wish I could be more help, but at least you are on top of it.
This must be a different time. I am just glad that I'm not in school these days.
Maybe her dad is letting her slack off. I know I knew who I could slack off around as a kid.
I hope you figure it out. You have my sympathy. I am not good at this kind of thing. (One of many things I'm not good at.)
Oh man. Hopefully this will be as simple as just getting EX1 on track with her needs. I hope so, at least. Good luck.
I agree- 3rd grade is a bitch! But again, this is the very reason my kids stopped spending the night during the week...they got to stay up late and he never made them study.
And to be fair, who wants to say, "No, I can't go to a movie dad. I have my 5th grade history test tomorrow."
For the last 7 years, my kids spend the night at their dad's every Friday night. Its enough for everyone :)
Good luck and good for you for being proactive.
Yes it's important to get Ex#1 on the plan.
too much pressure for a grade 3!! I think testing shoud be banned until junior high!! My sister's school division passes the kids NO MATTER WHAT until grade 9...
Consistency is key, you will get it all worked out!
Perhaps teachers are giving them not so related topics on tests so they would not have a hard time ranking the students. Or perhaps because children are just so tired with these tests all these tests! Whatever! But moms like us get also stressed when these are happening to ur kids.
Maybe not getting enough sleep at Ex#1's house? She is obviously a smart little cookie, but I find if my kiddos don't get enough sleep or even eat a good breakfast they just can't concentrate. I wish you luck!
Maybe Ex #1 overcompensates by letting her play first, study later. That happens. My sister doesn't overcompensate (she'd have to compensate 1st), but she does let my nephew do everything but homework when he gets home after school & then orders him to do it at 9 p.m. when he's half asleep. She's not very patient with him either when he tries to get out of it, and her studying methods lack a lot to be desired.
Case in point: spelling tests. Tina thinks the way to get him to learn the words is to write them over and over and over again. All that's teaching him is memorization. It's not teaching him phonics so a lot of times he misses the word because the teacher pronounces the word differently during the test(my sister mumbles and slurs).
The one time I helped him study, I taught him how the words properly sounded, why it sounded that way, and gave him little saying tricks to help him remember the correct spelling. On that test, he ended up getting all the hard ones correct and only missed a simple word, which is so something I would have done.
So maybe it's also in the way Ex #1 is helping her study. Sometimes "help" actually hinders.
I obviously don't know the whole situation, but is it maybe something else other than he isn't helping her correctly? Is she happy when she goes there, are there stepkids she doesn't like? It could be about a bazillion things I know. Sucky you have to deal with this.
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