Friday, November 6, 2009

Momma wants a new pair...

Here's what I said to this commercial last night.

SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR.

First, the commercial...um, RISQUE....
and secondly...whoa.

I've talked about my weight loss on here before. After losing my weight, I find myself STILL not completely happy, shut up men, my boobies sag, my ass sags, my cellulite won't sag off.

REEBOK EASY TONE

All you have to do is walk...that's it.

I can walk.

I CAN walk.

I want these shoes and an ass like the actress in the commercial.



I am TOTALLY into guys and I drool over that girl's ass.

TMI?

I like my body in the right clothes, but once those clothes come off, so does my armor of protection. All insecurities once hidden by that outer layer are exposed. So when I saw THIS commercial, as juicy as they make these girl's tits look...

(again I'm totally into men so these advertisements ARE working cause it makes me want tits and ass.)



Yeah, it'll make you look good IN your clothes and bra, but eventually, well HOPEFULLY you won't stay in those clothes if you are with your man, right?

Here's how I imagine it:

Guy: Dude, (all guys say dude, don't they?) your boobs (said with drool running down his chin) are so hot, and perky and I can't wait to motorboat 'em.

Girl: Yeah. Baby. (Flaunt flaunt floozy)

Cut to bedroom.

Unhooking of bra, excitement rising (if ya know what I mean), and WHAM. Those once perky, "hot" boobs are now, nonexistent and torpedoing themselves towards the floor.

Nipple dive.

I don't want that. I want my body to look just as good naked as it does clothed. That's not too much to ask is it?

Wonder if they make some "easy tone" bras that can tone my boobies as I walk.

'Cause I can walk.

I CAN.

Photobucket

More Madness from Stacie's Madness at 2:00 PM
Labels:

26 Sharing the Madness:

  1. awww you poor thing

    have to pick them up from the floor?
    I soon will be too, I have noticed...
    If they make something like that for tits and ass, please pass the info so some men can use it for our saggy ass junk...
    It hurts stepping on them sometimes
    ReplyDelete
  2. I guess there's always a nut lift.

    do they have those Porky?
    ReplyDelete
  3. Not sure.. I like to go commando. : )
    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree! If you have no boobs how does it lift??
    ReplyDelete
  5. *snort* You said motorboat. Awesome.
    ReplyDelete
  6. I have the opposite problem. I wish I had something that jiggles.
    ReplyDelete
  7. Have you seen those shoes that are supposed to make your ass look better? By reebok or something? Like walking around wearing these shoes will make it hotter. Someone let us know if they work!
    ReplyDelete
  8. Assets! I want ASSets! :)
    ReplyDelete
  9. I tried on those shoes, but I thought they were uncomfortable. Not for the whole ass lift thing, it would take a hell of a lot more than a pair of shoes to make my ass look like hers. And I'm sure it took her a lot more too.

    And I'm pretty sure that if a man is getting a look at a naked booby he doesn't really care if it is a little droopy. All he is thinking about is what is coming (pun totally intended).
    ReplyDelete
  10. so...are you sayin'...if i get those shoes...and walk...my boobies won't be tired anymore?! baby, count me in!
    ReplyDelete
  11. Ha! I so don't believe those shoes work but that could just be because I sweated my ass off. Literally. Look who's not so smart now, eh?

    And the boob thing. I hear you. I have no boobs but yet when I take my bra off they drop 3 floors. WTF?
    ReplyDelete
  12. and this is why i keep reading you..hilarious!
    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't have the Reeboks but I have the MBT's (same concept) and I can tell you that they did not work any miracles on my bod. Perhaps, I'm just too far gone.
    ReplyDelete
  14. While the marketing concept in the commercial is great, I don't believe for a second that simply working out in those shoes will give you an ass like that.

    She probably also does pilates and a million squats oh....... and yoga.
    ReplyDelete
  15. Lets face it. Some people were just born with good backside genes! Some of us, no matter what we do, will never have one like that! Am I glad I don't have to impress anyone with mine now, because an impression is what I would leave behind ;)
    ReplyDelete
  16. You're funny. Unfortunately, I can relate!! :(
    ReplyDelete
  18. Okay, so those shoes are gonna help my butt, but what about the thighs?? And the rest of the body?? I've been singing "I live in a blobular vessel" all morning. Sigh.
    ReplyDelete
  19. Let me know if the shoes work. I need all the help I can get. ;)
    ReplyDelete
  20. Do squats, lots of squats for the legs and butt. For the boobs, I guess saline implants are all the rage. Gravity happens with age. It's just a fact of life. It happens to me too!
    ReplyDelete
  21. Yeah, I TOTALLY believe that she got that ass from just walking around. Totally.
    ReplyDelete
  22. WOW. Not sure what else to say to this post or that chicks butt in the reebok commercial. Just WOW! :)
    ReplyDelete
  23. That girl in the advert is something else. I can dance, walk, even tiptoe through the tulips and my arse does not look like this unless the light is really bad.
    I also like asse men because if they want boobs they have come to the wrong place.
    ReplyDelete
  24. LMAO! That was so funny, that while reading it (while hubby was watching the Steelers game) he yelled at me from across the room to stop laughing like a "nerd" cause he was watching the game. *rolling eyes*

    Motorboat em..... LMFAO!
    ReplyDelete
  25. First off... I totally say "dude" all the time.

    After watching the commercials 23 times just now (for research), I must agree with you. She gots a nice bootay.

    Lastly. So glad you found my blog so that I could find your blog. Love it. Subscribed!
    ReplyDelete
  26. Okay, for once I am loving my teeny tiny tator tots of boobs that my husband ignores but my daughter thinks are toys (doing, hey ma, look, it bounces~does that tell you how flat these suckers are?) BUT, my once "voluptuous" ass is now two overblown punch balloons stuck in a too-small packaging. Stupid Bitch with her nice ass.
    ReplyDelete

C'mon, pull up a therapy couch and tell me all about it...

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)