it means:
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to listen to you.
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to like you
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to care.
I DON'T HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE. PERIOD.
what this means for you:
STOP calling to "chat"
Stop coming in to "tuck the kids in for bed" and then CONTINUING TO HANG AROUND AFTER YOU'VE tucked said kids into bed.
Stop inviting yourself into what were once family activities that you were never that interested in participating in while we were married.
-------------------
Ex#2 has backed off somewhat, but I had to blow up and tell him to BACK OFF. One weekend that he had the kids, he called me every single day and even twice on one day. I didn't answer any of the calls. If it were important he'd leave a message.
It's so intrusive. It's so aggravating.
Anyway, as I said, he has backed off for the most part.
Holidays are approaching.
The schedule for Christmas is this: Buggy will be with her father Christmas Eve, Bubba will be with his father for Christmas Eve. Both children are to come HOME Christmas morning around 9ish. THEN IT IS MY TIME WITH THEM. MINE.
Ex#2 (seriously, shoot me if I ever suggest, hint or even entertain the idea of remarrying) whines the other day on the phone that he doesn't have anything to do after he drops off Bubba.
*silence on my part*
He continues on that maybe he could hang around while the kids open their gifts from Santa.
*silence on my part*
*deep breath*
THEN he says that my Aunt....MY AUNT...invited him to Christmas at her house later that night.
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
He plays the poor me card so well that my (reiterate MY) family invites him.
Hi. We. are. divorced.
*deep breath*
So after lighting up a smoke, taking a deep inhale I finally spoke.
I said, if you are attending MY FAMILY'S Christmas later at my Aunt's then NO. You may not hang around my house Christmas morning.
We'll see how it all turns out.
Where the hell is his girlfriend to put an end to this madness? WHY CAN'T I PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS?
_______
Just got an email from EX#2 asking me out for dinner...SERIOUSLY...what the hell?
It's not even funny anymore. For real.
Friday, November 13, 2009
What divorce means to me....
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35 Sharing the Madness:
May I please print this off for my girlfriend to read to her EX. He also is having trouble cutting the cord. He even walks right into the house unannounced and helps himself to stuff in the fridge? Huh?
Stand your ground baby. I wish you luck!
Good luck. I have no exes...yet but still would rather hang out at your place.
i don't have any exes...but sometimes i feel the same about the one i'm still married to. uh, did i say that out loud?
He's finally woken up to the fact that he pissed away the best thing that ever happened to him! I'm sure he's scared to death that you're moving on.
I feel for you...I don't let my ex in the front door of my house. He tried that crap in the beginning, and I said N.O. NO!
Amen ! Good post !
I had an ex that still wanted to talk and hang out with me after we broke up and he found another woman to fall into and play house with.
We have no children and he lives out of state. I finally told him to back off and I stopped answering his calls.
I can't imagine what it is like for people that were once married to and had kids with the offender.
WTF is up with some men. Geez, get over it will you dude, you are divorced for a reason, not because it was a short vacation!
I think you are just so darned wonderful that everyone wants to be with you. Hell, even I want to come over on Christmas morning! ;) LOL!
WOW. Sounds like you have an ex problem. I guess your ex's feel like they are entitled to hng since they had kids with you.
I know I would use that if Melinda and I ever divorced. LOL. Kidding.
Happy Friday!
YOU ALL ARE INVITED to my house, whenever just leave my ex outside. :)
Rob, you better be kidding. ;) My first ex didn't do this but it's probably cause he was a cheatin ass...
Just stand firm, but remember not to become "the bad guy" in the kids eyes. Not trying to put more pressure on here. My sister is going through this and has off and on for 2 years. She divorced her cheating hubs AND he's remarried and still occassionally tries to hang out, like in her bed kind of hang out. Yuck!
Looks like someone is either wanting what he can't have or having second thoughts. Tell him to go join a book club or the Hair Club for Men or something.
You could always give him a taste of his own medicine. Just show up at his house one day while the girlfriend is there to just hang out because you're bored.
My dad used to show up uninvited all the time. My mom would always ask what his new wife would think if she just showed up one day uninvited. He lived out in the boonies so she never actually did it to find out until one day we went shopping at this plant nursery a few miles from his house. My mom finally said, "Why not?" and pulled in. We claimed we were there so my mom could see the goldfish pond he was always bragging about, but the truth is she wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. The look on my stepmother's face was priceless.
It stopped the uninvited appearances for awhile.
All I'm gonna say is YOU pick up the kid from Ex#2 on Xmas morning...then get the fuck out of there. Otherwise, if he drops off he'll somehow manage to hanging out entire friggin' day with you guys...on YOUR holiday.
What kind of crazy crap is this? Regrets? Second thoughts?
What the heck? He needs a girlfriend.
I guess I'm lucky. My ex hates me with the passion of a thousand suns so there's no chance in hell he'd ever want to hang out with me. We had a 30 second phone conversation last night and I'm not even lying when I say that's the most (civil, audible) talking he's done to me in 3+ years without a lawyer present. The grass is always greener, Stacie! Hang in there!
my ex had a hard time too. i think that, sometimes, he thinks we are still married. and i've been remarried for longer than i was with him!!
Sorry, I had to delete my comment because I just woke up and apparently forgot how to spell, like, eight different words while I was sleeping.
Here's what it said!
Some men just can't cut the cord. However, I think if my husband and I were ever to get divorced, he would be too angry to come around. I guess children might change that.
I vow to start using contraception again, stat! Just in case.
Cute blog!
I don't even know what to say except...I understand about the feeling of encroaching on your time. My ex never wanted anything to do with anything before we were divorced...after? suddenly he was mr.fuckingmom. Whatever.
But after a very very long time, things have settled down...but the holidays always bring out the worst in him.
IDK- just hang in there. Making it smooth for the kids is one thing- dinner? tell him to kiss off.
Suckage! he's not playing the X roll well at all!
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For all you have to put up with, I've just given you an award. Seriously...love the blog.
Exes are idiots. My sisters is now engaged again but still asking her to move back in??? Maybe if you weren't such a jackass you wouldn't have to deal with all this now? I am surprised you are even entertaining the idea of letting him come Christmas morning at all, whether or not he goes later. I would say fine, but then I get the kids Christmas Eve, and open most of the presents then.
ok well the bright side is that you can somewhat laugh and see the craziness in this behaviour...the bad news is that you have to even deal with this crazy behaviour.
You must be too inviting...a nice trait to have..except when it comes to a ex with obvious low self esteem.
Smile your way through the holidays...I'm sure alot of people do that (I know I do!)
some people don't know what they have until it's not theirs anymore...
hopefully things will chill soon.
I am guessing it's a wants what he can no longer have sort of situation. Stick to your guns. Divorce is done. And you mean it!
I am sorry but I did giggle. I can just picture you getting all pissed, lol.
Forgive me I will read this once again in the morning after I haven't been in the car for 21 hours and well rested and then I will be ticked right along with you, jerk!
Oh lordy. Someone didn't get the memo apparently. Ex#2 still wants ya. *nod*
Good God
I went through this with Bubba and Katie's dad. The only thing skivvier than what your ex is doing is having your ex hit on you hot and heavy. EWWW! He finally got the point when I quit acknowledging his advances at all..no negative feedback, just nothing. Srsly, some men are stupid and hardheaded.
You need to talk to your family ASAP and nip that shit in the bud. Nothing worse than an ex who thinks your family either A)still likes him or B)likes him more than you. I actually had an ex tell me that! He didn't think that anymore after my sister had a talk with him;)
There's something for you at Stir-Fry.
Smooches!
Good answer. And I'm really sorry to hear about this stress.
See you're irresistible! I think it hilarious even though it HAS to be massively annoying.
It only took one visit to your blog for me to be hooked too. Sounds like this is your fault to me. Quit being awesome, witty, and funny and I'm sure the problems will go away.
Seriously though. Tell him to take his attachment issues back to his mommy (assuming she's alive, of course).
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