buggy- why don't we send Santa Thank you cards?
me- you don't even send him a list...
***
me-that was TOXIC. excuse me.
Bubba-mom. hands off of the fiber one bar.
***
buggy- do you believe in Santa mom?
me-I believe in the magic of Santa and to believe in his magic, I'd have to believe in him.
***
buggy- (watching a Christmas classic snl program last night...haha) does Santa believe in meee???
me- if he didn't believe in you he wouldn't bring you presents.
***
me- damn mouse ate out the crotch of my santa apron. it looks like i have crotch rot now. nice.
kids- *crickets*
***
kids- when is it going to be Christmas morning?
***
buggy- is Santa fat mom?
me- he's jolly sweetie.
***
kids- stop singing so loud mom.
me- the best way to spread cheer is singing for all to hear.
kids- *loud sighs*
***
kids- do you love our tree mom? isn't is beautiful?
me- it is the.best.tree.EVER!
***
kids- mom do you think Santa will bring us palm cell phones?
me- do you think Santa is crazy? who you gonna call? Ghost busters!
***
Bubba- close your eyes mom, i have a present that I made at school for you.
me-*closes eyes*
Bubba- man, it's just a piece of paper, you are peaking!
me- *eyes still closed* I don't care what it is Bubs, I love surprises, put it under the tree, I promise to not look.
Bubs- the surprise is ruined.
***
Bubba- (said to friends) noooo my mommy didn't make you anything for Christmas. *blurts out what was made*
me- Bubba! You're ruining the surprise. One of the best things about Christmas is giving presents to our friends and family...
Bubba- i'm not very good at this whole surprise thing.
me- no, you're not.
***
kids- HOW MANY MORE COOKIES ARE THERE TO FROST??? *heavy sighs*
me- lots, keep slappin on the frosting.
***
all of us- WHEN IS IT GOING TO SNOW??? It doesn't feel like Christmas without snow.
***
Happy Holidays.
Santa isn't fat, it's glandular, damnit... that's why Santa drinks and pisses down my chimney...
ReplyDeleteAll I hear is "I want...."
ReplyDeletethose are cute...
ReplyDeleteAnd right after "When is it going to snow?" comes "When is it going to STOP SNOWING?"
ReplyDeleteThe next time someone tells me I'm fat, I will snarl back, "No, I'm JOLLY, dammit!"
ReplyDeletehey, stacie, i got your back on the fiber one bars. they are baaaad. bad enough to knock the buzzards off of a shit wagon, if you get my meaning.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeletesnow rocks (this week) I'll send you some, does snow travel south wests?
ReplyDeleteFrosting makes cookies fun. I just completed gingerbread extreme frosting on house makeover. oh my! they had ideas...
good god, woman, i have tears in my eyes! whoo! fiber 1... jolly fat dude... it's all good. especially all together and you've got some prime commenters too. that was a good laugh. =) it sounds like you have a good crew there. happy holidays!!!
ReplyDeletei love your kids!!!!
ReplyDeleteThose Fiber One bars are evil... I'm just saying.
ReplyDeleteI hate fiber one bars. Ugh. I bought a bunch at Sam's and had to make my husband eat them to save my poor intestines.
ReplyDeleteWe're supposed to maybe get some flurries on Christmas around here.
Well, all I keep hearing is a two year old's version of
ReplyDelete"Jingle bells, daddy smells, mommy laid an egg (HA not this year son), and I ran away" Think he is telling me something?