Happy Halloween

You Are Kooky

You are all about sweet treats on Halloween. You don't mind if people get a little scared, but no one should get PTSD from a haunted house! You believe that Halloween should be about fun not fight. You love to dress up in an amazing costume and go out to show it off. You've even been known to take in a scary movie or haunted house, but only if it's well done and not too freaky. You'll pass on anything too gruesome. Your favorite thing about Halloween is watching the tiniest kids have fun. Looking at them makes you feel a little bit younger too!

Are You Spooky or Kooky?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

Stop! Drop! and Roll.

Thank God my kids go to school to learn this shit.



I won a mother of year award last night, as I cooked a fine meal of frozen pizza for dinner.

"mmm, smells like dinner is done" I sniffed.

Done it was, a little well done.

*pats self on back*

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP.

*stunned looks*

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed.

"What is it Mom?" the kids screamed asked calmly.

"The smoke alarm and you're Mom's stellar cooking skillz."

Buggy, comedic genius that she is, drops to the ground like a ninja. She rolls herself to the front door and escapes the house.

Bubba, little slow on the comedy tour, drops and starts laughing.

Let this be a lesson, kids. Stop, drop and roll is HILARIOUS but only during false alarms. Bonus, the smoke detector works...albeit a little too sensitively.

Oh and I better get to church.

Wants...

Want:
To understand Twitter. Cause I don't. I mean, I know how to use it and I see the useage, but I don't see the point, for me.

The only reason I even have an account is because all the cool kids did it sometimes I want to win a giveaway and I can get an extra entry if I tweet.

Want:
I read this post title today and thought, damn, I want MY leather couch to see some action.

Action other than the hours I sit on it watching dvr'd shows...or Spongebob if my kids have any say in the matter.

But even though the cleanup would be a snap, really? Do I really want to have my children sit on that couch after I've "been" there?

Well. The cleanup would be a snap.

WANT:
Speaking of TV...anyone watch Heroes? I just started watching (so don't really ask me what the hell is going on, cause beats me) um, this dude...
HOT...and BAD....HOT.



Want:
I'm sure there's some medical explaination for this, something hormone related or pheramone related, but I want to know why Aunt Flo and the want for sex go hand in hand.

Cause it's a tease, ya know, I'm single. It's not like I can roll over and tell the hubby, get a towel baby it's on.

Not that I ever did that...oh wait, this isn't Not Me Thursday is it? Damn.

Want:
To get through this damn flu season so I can stop hearing about the damn flu season. Anyone else sick of hearing about it?

Want:
To say F-U to my telephone company. Really? Assholes!
It cost ME almost $50.00 to get my phone service moved over to the new house. Except once I got my bill, they didn't change the service to MY name. So I call again, oh! It will be another $35 to have the account put in my name. SERIOUSLY?

But, I want a house phone...with the same phone number we've had and that my kids have learned. Fuckers (Telephone company, not the kids)

Want:
Now that we're a one income with a side of child support family, I've been scared about the finances. Remember I said to remind me how much I LOVED my house and the idea of owning my own when my first mortgage payment was due?

yeah. It's due. November 1st.
I still do love the house, actually more and more as the time passes...but now that I have this mortgage I need to evaluate my needs vs wants.
WE don't need a damn thing...
but wants...well...let's see:
new bed.
vacation.
new table and chairs.
vacation.

you get the point.

Well, I'm sure you WANT to get the hell out of here and stop reading my ramblings...so go forth, blog, read and have a fantastic Thursday.

Wordless Wednesday

No time today...




2008 pumpkins and my goblins.

It's a cluster

Seriously, as I've mentioned before, when I mess up, I mess up royally.

You can even assume, I'm queen of mess ups.

*adjusts crown*

Stacie's Cluster Madness, in FULL EFFECT...

In the meantime...chew on this lil nugget.

I mentioned I had to fight off an old man at the roller skating rink...or I didn't, whatever.

Seriously, I pulled a muscle some sick penguin ninja moves.

I kinda get WHY he was there, HOPEFULLY to chaperone.


What I don't get is when a pack of intoxicated, 30 yr olds* perfectly sane costume wearing awesome beauties walk in, does said man practically run over to greet us? Why is said man, in awe of such costumes and WHY does he choose me to have a conversation with?

"So, you're a penguin, huh?"

I look around, as if some other penguin had just walked in the place.

I look around PRAYING some other penguin had just walked in the place.

"Um, yep, I'm a penguin."

My feathers start to ruffle as I watch the group I came in with disperse, finding other kids to torment say hello to.

"huh. So, where'd you get your costume?"

Shit, he's still standing there, staring, mumbling and starting to enter my oh hell no you don't space.

"That's a really good costume, my cousin got a frog costume just like that, but uh, it's a frog. There's eyes..."

Panicked, I starting looking around the place for my friends, who have now seen what is going on and are flying over on their brooms to rescue their penguin friend.

As they pull my feathered wing over to where they are the MAN FOLLOWS...he keeps mumbling....

"Well, it's a really good costume."

For the rest of the time we were there he was staring and standing too close but too far for my beak to assault him, kung fu style for my comfort.

So really? What the hell? He had to be in his forties acting as he was hormonally...er, retarded like the other CHILDREN skating around the floor during the couples skate.

Just weird. *says the lady that showed UP in the penguin costume*






*just a note, we had a designated driver DRIVE us to the roller skating rink, no children or way too old men to skate were hurt in this making of this post AND we left the pimp at home as to not scare the children.

NOT ME MONDAY...

oh, whoa. what a weekend.

It was NOT me who laughed so hard that make-up streaked down my face.
It was NOT me sportin a Penguin costume for a Halloween party.
It was NOT me who stroked the beak of the Penguin costume, in the most perverted kind of way.
It was NOT me who went to pick up friend's 13 year old daughter from the skating rink, in a Penguin costume that I did NOT wear.
It was NOT me who had to fend off an old man at the skating rink, that I did not go to to embarrass the 13 year old in a Penguin costume that I did not wear.
It was NOT me who lost playing spoons and it was NOT me who slapped some people around with the wings of the Penguin costume that I did not wear.
It was NOT me who got all emotional about friend's daughter turning 13.
It was NOT me who hugged her every time she walked by me.
It was NOT me cursing when said 13 year old woke up with a fever the next morning.

Probably the damn swine flu. Can Penguins get the swine flu?




Oh and the weekend did NOT end there.

It was NOT me that was so excited for another night out Saturday.
It was NOT me that bought a new pair of heels just for the occasion.
It was NOT me that was SLIGHTLY disappointed when plans changed from bar scene to whirly ball scene.
It was NOT me that had no clue what Whirly Ball was.
It was NOT me that decided F-it, heels were still going to be worn.
It was NOT me that laughed her ass off while driving a bumper car, in hot ass trout heels, trying to score.
It was NOT me that lost every Whirly Ball game but looked fine as hell losing.


I don't know who it was, but that person had a kick ass weekend, with her kick ass friends!
I am NOT jealous of her one bit.

buzz buzz

Your Halloween Costume Should Be A Bumble Bee

Eerily, that fits somehow!

What Should You Be For Halloween?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

I guess we aren't the scary type of family.

because laughing at others is FUN...

He's in the WIIINNNDOOOOWWW....

My Bubba, is a chicken.

I feel bad for him, but it's getting really serious.

He won't go into a room by himself, he won't be left alone in a room.

It doesn't help that the two kids find it HILARIOUS to wait around corners for each other or me to try to scare the crap out of each other.

I had to have a talk with Buggy about it the other morning, in front of Bubba, only to have Bubba stand outside of the bathroom door waiting for me to open it so he could yell "boo!"

*sigh*

Last night the Disney channel had a movie on, can't remember the name of it now.

"Oh! a Halloween movie," I thought, "I bet Buggy would get a kick out of this." I hit record on the dvr and Bubba and I started to watch the movie.

How bad could it be, right? It's the Disney channel.

Big MISTAKE.

The "ghost" on the movie was down right scary. The last straw was when the ghost peeked into the window. Bubba looked up me, pale faced, tears welding up in his eyes.

"I don't like scary movies," he screeched. "Turn it off!"

I did. Quickly.

*I'm such an idiot sometimes*

Later on he was in the shower, I left the bathroom to get him some toys only to hear minutes after I closed the door, this moaning, this ungodly scared crying.

I run back into the bathroom thinking the water has turned scorching hot on him or something really terrible. To find Bubba plastered up against the shower wall, shaking with fear. His eyes again filled with tears as he peered up at the window in the shower.

"Mooom," he cried, "is that ghost in OUR WIIIINNNDOOOOOWWW?"

Then he gets pissed, because *I* made him watch a scary movie.

His breathing was labored, he freaked if I even shut the curtain to the shower and he couldn't see my face. I tried explaining that ghost and monsters were not real and that it was all pretend. I tried explaining that he was safe in our home that there were no bad guys hiding in the corners or peeking in the windows.

For some reason he wouldn't let it go, he just wanted to see my face. I can't imagine why he's scared or how MY face could calm him...


(ha, had some fun with the editing tools in www.picnik.com)

((seriously, here's the name of the movie, do not watch if you have easily scared children, Mostly Ghostly, Who let the Ghost Out? Not cool, Disney channel, not cool at all.))

Pimple Shmimple.

whoa.
where did the day go?

I talked to the mom of the senior last night.

She said she was feeling rather bitchy (see, it's going around) and she didn't mean anything by the use of FINE. However, she was not happy with the big pimple on her son's forehead.

Anyway. LOL. I have spent most of my day editing out a pimple. Good times.

Here is one shot, that I particularly love...minus the pimple.

It's going around...

poopyness.
you feel it?


Mine is due to the lovely uterus/pms shit. Seriously? I'm done having kids, why can't there be a switch? Not a switch as in sex change cause I like my girly parts, but I sure wish the insides would stop working.



I want. I want to take people's pictures. Volunteers? I took a kid's senior pictures this past weekend. I had a shadow issue, as I've had in the past (you'd think I'd learn)...but I could edit and they looked good.

Or so I thought...

(and for the record my bestie thought so too. Is that like a mother telling their ugly duckling child they are beautiful? I will remain in denial if it is then, mmmk??)

I emailed the Mom who is between friend and acquaintance of mine. TWO DAYS, it took her TWO days to get back to me. Want to know what she said?

She said the pictures were fine.

It's not like you can critique it like wine. That's a fine wine. No. Fine doesn't mean good in photo-land. Am I wrong?

*I* liked the pictures. *I* am my worse critic. If it were *MY* child, I'd have LOVED the pictures, but I'm an overly animated person (you don't say??). I just expected her to at the very least, LIKE the pictures. Meh.

((Now, I've shown my co-worker the pictures, her son is graduating this year too. She is booking me for HER son's pictures...so they aren't just FINE. Says a third opinion.))

I'd show you the pictures, but then I'd have to kill ya. ;) I'm not a violent person.

Oh well, guess you can't please everyone.

Totally Ticks me off Tuesday-Mowing

Click the button to check out Mommy from the Midwest and other participating in Totally Ticks me off Tuesday


Isn't mowing kinda like women shaving your legs? In that you just don't do it after it drops to a certain temperature outside?

I mean, isn't there a rule that when Mother Nature decides she's going to give you the gift of fucking winter early that you should stop mowing?

Isn't there a freeze rule or something?

There's a freeze rule for shaving my legs.

(Right? ladies? Right? married men?)

Doesn't it ruin the grass if you cut it and then the frost comes and gobbles on your newly exposed grass?

'Cause there should be, there should be a rule.

If there is a rule, please tell my mow happy neighbors. Their mowing is making my yard look as if it hasn't been manicured a day in it's life.

I don't normally play keep up with the Jones', but ya know, I'm new to the neighborhood, I don't want to make a bad impression.

But we've had frost yo. I don't think I should cut my grass. I've retired the lawn mower to its cave for hibernation. I don't want to drag it out...it's kinda mean when I wake it.

(And for those of you that read this entire post thinking gutterlicious thoughts....yeah, me too and I think I love you.)

Not me Monday...

Hahaha, I did not get all crazy and post this post without anything written. Really.

This weekend:
I did not sit in the snow/rain/sleet cheering on my daughter for her last softball game of fall ball.

I did not giggle when I realized she conveniently chose to play the bench during that inning when it was snow/rain/sleeting.

I did not curse the fact that IMMEDIATELY after her 90 minute game, Bubba had his 90 minute game to play.

I did not think of leaving his game early. He was going with his dad anyway after the game ended.

I did not get nostalgic at a friend's mom's 60th birthday party.

I did not get teary eyed watching their family dance.

I did not get out on that dance floor with them in celebration.

I did not walk out of the house without my camera to document the event.

I did not thank Mother Nature for Sunday's beautiful weather...

I did not just post this really dull post.

*sigh*

Endomorph???

You Are an Endomorph

You have a rounder, softer body type. It's difficult for you to lose weight. Endomorphs are known for being friendly, generous, and warm. It's likely that you're a relaxed person who enjoys good times, good people, and good food. You are warm and affectionate. You provide comfort to others and crave it for yourself.

What's Your True Body Type?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

Pumpkin Latte

You Are a Pumpkin Latte

You are a total homebody. You love the fall because it gives you an excuse to stay home a little more often and be cozy. Fall is your favorite time to cook a pie, read a good book, or watch your favorite movie. You're the type who prefers handing out candy at Halloween and hosting Thanksgiving at your place. You have a lot of different autumn activities, and they all take place inside the comfort of your home.

What Autumn Drink Are You?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Randoms.

-Twitter status "well, at least it's Friday"
-if you're going to follow me on Twitter, why would you keep your status private?
-why the hell do I care? I'm never on Twitter.
-can I say Twitter one more time? TWIT.

-On the mom situation. I know she NEEDS to go. I know it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
-I'm the only reason (and my brother, I suppose) she's been here for as long as she has.
-Apparently even 50-something year olds can still act like immature children, kicking and screaming when their toy has been taken away.
-Idiots.

-I'm going to have a piece of cheesecake, f*ck it.
-I was mean to Porky yesterday, sorry bud. It's easier to be angry (snarky) than sad. I took it out on your scrawny ass; I'm sorry. I got your love package, ;) thank you.
-I ate that cheesecake too fast, feeling sick now.
-I need to get back to exercising.

-I hate the cold, but what I hate more is my co-worker blowing her heater right at her cootch making the office smell like hot fish.
-I think I just puked up a little of my cheesecake.

-I'm taking pictures for a high school senior this weekend, any tips?

-I'm attending a 60th birthday party this weekend. I might break out the heels and get gussied up.

-There is something to be said about a friend that you've had for YEARS. They are a priceless gift of knowledge about you, your family and your heart. I love you Kimmy Sue.
-It's about time I go visit her again. Perhaps for Thanksgiving again.

K, there's plenty more, but it's so snarky and mean spirited that I'm going to end this and say have a happy weekend.

What's AZ got?

meh.

I haven't gotten deep here in a while.

(That's what he said)

If you don't want sappy and whiney then reference back to yesterday's post, mmmk?

You've been warned.

Well. She's leaving. She's moving to Arizona. She says she can't make a life here now that she is divorced. She can't be around town known as his wife or ex wife. She doesn't want to be here.

So she's moving.

And I'm pissed. I'm sad.

It's my mom. My blood, the only blood that I really have contact with on a normal basis.

Why aren't I good enough for her to stay?

There, I said it.

I know this is ridiculous, stinkin thinkin, but my heart goes there and my mind wrings the heart's neck for thinking it.

As much as I've said don't go, she's going. As much as I've made a case for staying, she's going. There's nothing I can do, she's going.

Fit of giggles.

I mean I am seriously going to have a stomach ache from giggling this morning.

First.
I get to work, early.

I know, crazy hilarious, right?

I sign on to the computer...emails, facebook, myspace....*screeching tires*

Remember my Totally Ticked off Tuesday about myspace?

What? You don't? Ugh. Here.

This morning, I got a friend request from Knaughty Knight...SERIOUSLY...roflmao.
I'd totally link you up to his page, except, when I went to check it out, (shut up, I was curious) my real dad's SECOND WIFE was the in the number one spot of Mr Knight's friend list.

I about lost it...spit out my coffee laughing. Are you kidding me? Seriously?
*deep breath, hyperventilating in fit of laughter*


THEN, if I couldn't get any more hysterical, I go back to facebook and find this F-ing treasure. *can't hold back the giggles*

Ready? Brace yourself...this is CLASSIC...


Find more videos like this on AdBakery.com


Keep watching even after they give you the ad line, good times.

*SNORT*

GOOD TIMES. It's poo-rific.

You're welcome.
Have a happy hump day.

Totally Ticks me off Tuesday

Click the button to check out Mommy from the Midwest and other participating in Totally Ticks me off Tuesday

Does not having a wedding ring on my finger open the flood gates for men to think they have a chance with me?

So now that I'm "single", I feel like there are some tricks out there I should know about. By tricks, I'm not talking street tricks.

One week after I moved into my house, I had a garage sale.

One guy, let's call him Toothless, wanted to buy my washer and dryer.


"I forgot my wallet at home, can you hold them for me? I can come back on Tuesday to pay and pick them up. Is that OK?" he asked.

"Ummmm..." I hesitantly answered.

See, one of my biggest fears is people KNOWING that I'm a single mom living in the house. It scares me. So I didn't want this guy coming over to my house and finding me and kids there alone.

Noticing my reluctant tone and totally ignoring it, he asked for my cell number so he could call to make sure I was home.

"Ummmm...." I stammered again.

F*ck. I want the washer and dryer gone. I would like to park in the garage sometime this year.

I wrote down my number.

As I hand it over, his buddy jumps out of the big toothless kinda guy truck with the cash to loan toothless to purchase the washer and dryer.

"Sweet," I thought, the washer and dryer ARE SOLD.

As Toothless and his buddy climbed back into their truck, I thought of yelling out for my phone number back. It was just more important to get them AND the sale over with so I didn't ask.

About an hour later, I get a voicemail.

"Hey this is Eli, just making sure you gave me the right number."

I hang up the phone, look at my mom and said, "Shit. I should be wearing a wedding ring." For the record, I never got Toothless' name, it might not have been "Eli" but I haven't given out my phone number to ANYONE that I don't know.

(Porky did remind me that I in fact DID give my number to that cute fireman at the Buffet concert, but that was so long ago...I don't remember that guy's name. *ahem*)

I ignored the message.

Later in the week a call came in, not recognizing the number, I answered (idiot).

"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Stacie?"
"Yes?!?!"
"This is Eli."
F*ck.
"I don't know an Eli."
"Oh, but is this Stacie?"
"YEEEESS."
"I must have the wrong number."
"MMMK, thank you."

Do I have to wear a wedding ring to keep the creepy toothless men at bay?


(especially if you're toothless)

Buuurrrr

I. am. not. cold.
I. am. not. cold.

F*ck it's cold.

Anyone else NOT ready for the winter?

Wanna play a game of how cold was it?

(it's not even winter yet, commence early weather whining...and go)

It was so cold this weekend that I broke out the scarves and gloves.

Buggy AND Bubba had softball/baseball games this weekend. Burr. To further my torture, I went to see a friend's son play peewee football. 'Cause I'm fucking crazy nice like that.

It was so cold that I broke out the fleece jammies AND turned on the heat. I know. It was that bad. I felt like an eskimo.


It was so cold that the weather man threatened that there might be snow. I am sure he felt me kick him through the tv and rescinded that forecast, but still, it was F*cking cold out.

(hahahah)

I shouldn't complain, cause it was so cold it did SNOW on my Northern friends...

Hope you're all staying warm. :)

Geez.

Where'd the week go?

It's Friday already, I haven't even told you all about the move.

As you can see, closing went well. Actually, this whole process was pretty painless. I'm not saying there weren't bumps, there were, but nothing so major that will leave scars.

So I closed on Friday and started moving stuff in the Saturday after. Luckily, most of my furniture was stored right there in the garage of Peed Bush. So when I say "moved" I mean, from the garage to it's resting place in the house. A short move, really. We focused the whole day to getting the big stuff in. (That's what she said).

Sunday was getting essentials unpacked, clothes, undies, and the likes...at 2pm people came over for Buggy's 9th Birthday. I was so proud.

Proud of my beautiful daughter.

(haha, just noticed her brother ON THE TABLE in the background)

Proud of my handsome son.

(yes, those are underwear on his head. Anyone see lamp shades in this boy's future?)

Proud of our "new" home.


Proud to have the friends that I do and proud of the family that came to the party.
Because of the divorce of my parents, my stepdad and his family DID not come to the party. Sadly. However, I had the back up plan set before I could even let the sadness settle.

I had been contacted by a member of Ex#2's family. Asking to be invited if we were having a birthday party. Therefore, I talked to Ex#2 and he said, invite all of his family. So it was settled.

I was proud of Ex#2 for attending the party.
I was proud of Ex#2's family that put aside personal feelings about OUR divorce to come and celebrate a CHILD'S day.

I was proud of ME.

Really, isn't that the best part of it all?

Being PROUD of YOURSELF?

I kept saying, this is MY house, this is MY furniture, this is MY life. As surreal as it all felt and still feels...it's AMAZING. It's about time I feel PROUD of me AGAIN!

You Capture-RED

This is a fun carnival set up by Beth @ I Should be Folding Laundry.



Click the button to see what everyone else "captured"!



This tree is changin...with all it's might. Some leaves have succumbed others are hanging on to their summer glow.