Thursday, January 21, 2010

And that's why this is called Stacie's MADNESS...

Living "alone" there are bound to be things you learn about yourself.

I'm not NEARLY as much of a clean freak as I once thought myself to be...I realize now that I did a lot of angry cleaning. I had a lot I was angry about and one "poor soul" that I was angry with, therefore, I'd clean. Feverishly. I didn't feel like my house was truly cleaned until I could smell the bleach or until my eyes and hands burned from it.

NOW...I'm not nearly as angry and when I am...I just don't have the time to clean. When I have the time, I don't have the energy...and there is no one that is going to come home and give the stink eye about a clean basket of folded clothes that have been sitting in the living room for over a week.

*whistles and looks around innocently*

My kitchen cabinets were CRAMMED full of just any kind of platter you could imagine, football season platters, Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, everyday platters. It was ridiculous how much stuff I had packed into that kitchen. It didn't stop there, I'm afraid.

Our cabinet that served as our "pantry" was overflowing with food. Sometimes things would get smashed into the back of the cabinet, to never be eaten, usually then donated to the food drive at school no doubt or ever considered for dinner.

NOW being in this MUCH smaller kitchen, I don't have those "things". Sure they are all packed in the garage in hopes for a kitchen remodel, but I wonder, do I really need that much...STUFF???

NOW being on a one income budget, sometimes that cabinet serving as a pantry starts day dreaming about remodel again isn't as crammed full, in fact each box of macaroni and cheese is served BEFORE it's expiration date. There are no spares to put out for the local food drive. We need it, we've eaten it.

Oh for the love of Pete.

My point. We are living without this stuff and we have plenty of food. Trust me we aren't starving, not even in the slightest. What I have found strange through it all is my utter panic (I might almost have some anxiety issues) when these cabinets aren't full to brim. Or when the freezer is bare except the cheap rolls of turkey burger.

I panic. As if what's in my cabinets dictates in any way my success or lack thereof in running my own household.

A life filled with material things (and I realize food isn't a material thing...but just go with my crazy train of thoughts, mmmk?) is not filled with love it's filled with STUFF.

We are healthy, fed, and working on happy...that is not equated in full cabinets but in full hearts.

The inner workings of my thoughts are just that...madness...and it really does help getting them out...so thanks for reading and sharing a part in MY madness.


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More Madness from Stacie's Madness at 3:31 PM
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22 Sharing the Madness:

  1. I cleaned out the fridge today. I mean like scrubbed cleaned. I now have pickles and coffee creamer. We are eating out tonight!
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  2. I don't know about having a fully or overstocked pantry but I completely relate to "angry cleaning." It was either start scrubbing or start screaming. Screaming usually gives me a headache so scrubbing seemed more logical and productive.
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  3. My cupboards are rarely full. The refrigerator is rarely full. When I clean either of them out it only takes a few minutes, and then like Midwest Mommy I have a few jars of random things. The love doesn't come from those cupboards or the fridge...
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  4. I do angry cleaning too. I must be deliriously happy by the looks of things around here.
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  5. On time growing up, after my parents divorced, we had an old coke box from my Aunt's beauty salon as a refrigerator. I fixed blue box mac and cheese every day for lunch. I guess what I'm saying is that our "pantry" and "frig" was always pretty bare, but none of that mattered because every night when I went to bed I knew that my mother loved me and would do anything for me. THAT was what mattered.
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  6. In November we hit rock bottom. That is the bottom of our freezer. I found myself making pasta several times a week and rice the other days of the week. It was very depressing. Not the pasta and the rice, the empty freezer. In early December we came into some money and the first thing I did with that money? I filled the freezer!
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  7. I wish I could have the cleaning habits you had. I am so unorganized.
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  8. Sounds like you are on the right track! Congrats!
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  9. What's weird...I'm MORE of a clean freak by myself. I have been cleaning out stuff I've meant to for years! And it feels great!
    Wow. Apparently all I needed for motivation was for him to get his shit OUT! LOL!
    My freezer IS full however, I keep buying food and not eating it AND making meals that are far too large for just me so I freeze some of it AND I HAVE to have three kinds of ice cream in there apparently. Vice? Hmmmm
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  10. You're so right and it's great that you realize all of this. We have accumulated a lot of "stuff" and now will probably be downsizing in the next year. I look around and panic, where did all this crap come from and why did I think I needed it?
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  11. I enjoyed reading this. I think it shows how much you are learning about yourself.
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  12. I just had an epiphany! My house is so filthy because I am not angry enough!

    Actualy I do that too, it's something to do to take my mind off of whatever. But not that often, clearly based on the thick layer of dust that seems to reside permanantly on every surface.

    I find your take on the stuff issue very insightful...we just may have a bit of that same thing going on around here.
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  13. i especially loved this post...i am the same way for some reason. i feel scared and vulnerable when my pantry is empty. maybe that's another sign of my food addiction...
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  14. I get it...really! You are two wonderful kids, a home that you own, your health and so many wonderful traits that an less than full pantry means nothing about you. And it definitely means nothing about your ability to live and support your family!
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  15. Great post. I can totally relate.

    I hate my pantry. I want a walk-in pantry. Mine is a deep cabinet and stuff gets crammed to the back. I laughed when you said you gave stuff to food drives at school. I'm glad I'm not the only one to do that. Haha!!

    I recently helped clean TWO rooms at a family members house. I've never in my life seen so much stuff. It made me come home and start throwing stuff away. I don't ever want my house to get like that. In a matter of 30 min. I bagged up TWO HUGE trash bags worth of stuff. Blah!!

    Good for you for getting your piorities straight!
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  16. I think we could be twins.. I know just how you feel..

    Off to change the title of my blog.. VLs madness.
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  17. OK, I admit. I've NEVER been neat, angry or not. I just don't have the energy.

    I'm afraid we still have those cabinets with things that expired years ago. Whoops.

    I'm trying to declutter more, and as I do, boy does it make me feel better.

    Here's to your madness. I love reading it.
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  18. Hey, I had a basket of towels in my hallway for more than a week. I can't even say they were folded because they weren't. What I found out is they're a lot more convenient there than in the linen closet because if I forget to get one before I get in the shower, I have less distance to drip when I get out. I eventually used them all, washed them, and filled up the basket again. It's still in the hall, and I'll get to folding them eventually. If I don't, who's going to know or care--my dogs? I doubt it.

    I understand the pantry and fridge. My pantry has a couple of cans of soup and rice in it, some Pringles, and box of Cheeze Its. The fridge has a bunch of leftovers. The freezer has some vegetables and what is now probably freezer burnt chicken breasts. I'm not starving, but you'd probably think so to look at what I've got. I just never pack the things full. When I do, stuff just goes to waste, or I'll decide I really didn't want those items after all.
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  19. I'm a frustrated cleaner- whenever I'm frustrated I clean...... and lately I've been doing A LOT of cleaning.
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  20. I totally understand where you're coming from. I have boxes and boxes left to unpack but my daughter and I are doing just dandy without them. What is the point? Do I really need that crap? I have an entire box of "canned food" that has sat in the corner of my dining room since I moved. Maybe I should take the damn thing to the food drive and be done with it. Great post! Sharing the madness!
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  21. The larger the house, the more stuff that gets accumulated. Even in this large house, there is little room for anything else.
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  22. Okay, if you can figure out how to stop this, please share. It seems like I HAVE to buy beef or chicken on sale, and then I look for sales when the freezer is empty, and then I end up eating freezer burned chicken for weeks on end. yuck
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C'mon, pull up a therapy couch and tell me all about it...

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