Things people will say hidden behind anonymity.

Friday night I get home from work with the kids. I run over to the mailbox in the rain and pull out the mail.

Junk mail as usual, except for on envelope addressed to "Stacie", no last name, no return address.

That's strange I thought.

I carry all of our stuff inside, overly curious about who has sent me mail. I put down the armloads of backpacks and tear open the envelope.

The handwriting is not familiar, I unfold the brown construction like paper and start to read.

What are you teaching your children by jumping from man to man so quickly?

My heart jumps into my throat.

There are certain things they shouldn't see or know about. Your daughter will grow up to have multiple failed marriages and your son will grow up thinking his mother was a whore.

I stand there, stunned. I sat the letter down and walk away, my hands trembling, tears building up in my eyes. I take a deep breath, my mind racing as to WHO could have sent this. WHO knows where I live, who is THIS invested in my life, WHO would care so deeply to send this yet not sign their name?

The WHO doesn't really matter, I guess. What I'd like to say to this person is the following.

What I am teaching my children is how to pick themselves up, even when the choices they've made in their lives cause pain to themselves or others, life goes on. We all make mistakes, it's how we handle those mistakes that defines us.

What I am teaching my children with this new relationship, though you might think too soon, is what a loving relationship looks like, what a responsible man looks like and that if you love someone you respect them, you do nice things for them. Love DOESN'T look like the relationship they've seen and known for their years of life.

As far as my daughter's future marital bliss or otherwise, when she is an adult and her and I have a conversation about the mistakes I've made, things I wished were different, things I feel I've had no control over and things I've had control over, she will see and know that she also has choices. I will support my daughter in any of her endeavors whether they work out or not, I will support her decisions. I will support her through the celebrations and the hard times. To predict her failure is premature.

My son's opinion of me as he grows will not be, "my mom is a whore or even WAS a whore"- the definition of whore according to the dictionary is "a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute;" and though by YOUR standards I've moved on quickly I have not, nor have I ever been paid money for sexual intercourse. So your theory on that is irrelevant.

What I am teaching my son is that there are men out there that live up to their word, that don't have to go through life with an alcoholic drink in their hand. What I am teaching my son is that there are other ways to be as a man, no one will replace his father, but there can be GOOD male role models in his life and right now I have full control over who those role models will be on our side of life.

What I am teaching my children is to be kind to others, to speak nicely of others, to respect other's opinions even if they don't agree, and to be happy children who grow into happy adults, despite what they have gone through in their lives. What I am teaching them is that being a bitter unhappy person is a choice, not a lifestyle.

So though I thank you for your concern and respect that everyone has an opinion, until you are living in my shoes, until you see what I do or not do according to your standards then you have no right to judge and do so so cowardly. If you have legitimate concern for my children's well being, please come to me as an adult, until then get a life of your own and stay out of mine.


Found this quote that I thought fitting:

"We cannot control the evil tongues of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them." -Cato the Elder