Thursday, September 2, 2010

Becareful what you wish for...

You know all those posts about the absence of my father?

You know all those posts about how I'd love for him to be a part of my life, to know me, to know my kids, to be proud of me?

Yeah. 

The thing is, it's been so long.  There's been so many disappointments, so many empty promises, unspoken expectations that all have fallen.  Crashing down to the ground.

He seems to come around just enough to make me think, maybe this time, he will realize how great we are, the kids and I.  Maybe just this time he will realize his mistakes in not taking a more active roll in the past twenty years.  Maybe just this time.  It will be different.

My Dad came to Bubba's game last weekend, he SAID he'd be at this Saturday's game.

I saw the hurt in my "step-mom's" posture when after the game Bubba was standing there and my step dad (who is very active in our lives) walked up and I said, "Hey Bubba there's grampy!"  Her shoulders slumped and she looked over to my Dad for his reaction.

I don't even know what to have my kids refer to him as, it's all so awkward.

Hey kids, here's your "grandpa", just doesn't seem right.  There's nothing GRAND about his PA-ing.

Meh.  Maybe this will be like all the other times...a few attempts and then he'll be done. 

*AAARRRGGGHHH*

I know, I'm all whine whine boo hiss. 

More Madness from Stacie's Madness at 2:30 PM
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7 Sharing the Madness:

  1. I often whine and complain about my mother in law and her lack of interest in my kids...and then I think I should shoosh...I would never deep down want her involved anyways...tough one to sort through...be gentle on yourself!
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  2. Well he can't really complain about the kids not knowing him when he was the one that wasn't there.

    And what's wrong with being a "Grampy"?
    ReplyDelete
  3. You don't have to have your dad in their lives ... he's got to earn it.
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  5. After many years of thinking he will change (Who the HELL tattoos someone's name on them when they don't even speak to them, I don't know), I have given up. I have also finally decided that it is time to let the skeletons go and find someone to help me deal with it. I am with you girl.
    ReplyDelete
  6. I truly feel your pain. this is how my ex is with my daughter. It has been horrible for her. The promises that have been made and borken will effect her for the rest of her life.
    Half of her damn tattoos are because of this jackass.
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  7. First of all, your step mom's hurt is not your concern, that is your father's problem. He bought it, he gets to wear it.

    No guilt Stacie, none whatsoever. The title grandpa is earned not a right.

    xoxoxox
    ReplyDelete

C'mon, pull up a therapy couch and tell me all about it...

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